Diana McCallum
Smart Pop/ BenBella Books
$19.95 (US)/ $25.95 (CAN) / $12.99 digital)
Admit it, my fellow nerds. You’ve spent time thinking about how superhero sex works, especially the gay nerds out there. Or don’t admit to it because I’ll never know. That said, Diana McCallum has given a lot of thought — emphasis on “a lot,” mind you, and came up with so much material for a new book titled Sex Lives Of Superheroes.
In this new book McCallum tackles the sex lives of a number of popular four color protagonists that we know and love and does so with the same combination of wit and humor that shines through in her popular Texts From Superheroes web comic while also using scientific based facts that will surprise and shock and make for new perspectives on these fictional characters’ sex lives.
Let me spotlight a few and be assured that all twenty seven essays and interludes, mini essays if you will, are eye opening and fascinating.
First up is one of the old standbys — just how far Reed Richard can stretch his penis” To answer this burning question, McCallum consulted scientific reviews in the biological and medical fields. Her explanation is “yes, but not like you think and here’s why.” What about Plastic Man, Elongated Man, and Jimmy Olsen as Elastic Lad? We can only extrapolate from McCallum’s research that the “yes, but no” rule applies to their pliable penises too. I could go on more at length instead of teasing you with just the tip of info on this pliable priapic phenomenon but I hope to arouse your interest nonetheless.
McCallum’s essays are grouped into five sections – A Hero’s Sacrifice: Superpowers That Wreck You Sex Life; Partners in Crime: The Pros & Cons Of Superhero Relationships; Mind Over Mattress: Psychological Issues That Affect Heroes In The Bedroom; Secret Origins: Pregnancy & Childbirth Among The Superpowered; and Do It Like An Animal: Insect And Animal Powers In The Bedroom. Among the superheroes McCallum put a laser focus on include Spider-Man, Hulk, several Fantastic Four members, Wonder Woman, Mystique, Emma Frost, Flash, Green Lantern, Supergirl, the Deep from The Boys, and the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. By my bleary eyed account there are 9 or 10 more characters.
The “Building The Best Orgasm With Mystique” chapter is a captivating read. McCallum does due diligence into how Marvel’s famous shape changing mutant would adapt both physically and on a cellular level in order to have the best sexual experience with either a female or male body. It shouldn’t come as a surprise when to know that the first consideration Mystique has to make is how often and for how long she wants to orgasm. Why wouldn’t you manipulate your body’s biological mechanics to have the best orgasm?
Another essay I’d like to mention is one that alludes to Larry Niven’s Man Of Steel, Woman of Kleenex piece in which he discusses whether or not Superman and Lois Lane could have sex without Lois suffering severe consequences such as extreme pain during and dying from childbirth if she first lives through the experience of Clark’s sperm fertilizing one of Lois’ eggs. Instead of focusing on that old topic McCallum turns it on its head to examine another famous Kryptonian – Supergirl! The simple fact that McCallum focused on the Maid of Might made me very happy as I think Kara tends to be ignored in sex related matters unless or until someone mentions Comet and the conversation gets weird.
Speaking of weird though… The last section titled Do It Like An Animal: Insect And Animal Powers In The Bedroom caught me entirely off guard. Not all that much with the bit about Loki being a horse and giving birth business. Talk of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle penises, The Deep having sex with octopi and dolphins, and Howard the Duck’s junk all invoked my morbid curiosity. Instead of watching the proverbial car crash I turned to Google and was utterly transfixed by images and videos of turtle penises, how much sex dolphins have (and it isn’t all hetero sex), and Howard the Duck’s corkscrew genitalia. Mind you, McCallum’s tone is “wow, isn’t nature amazing” and not junior high school silliness. For me it was a “Do you really need to Google that?” situation. You’ll never catch me having turtle penis envy either.
Some of you may ask what’s queer about this book. Aside from the chapters on Wonder Woman and Mystique there is not much. Some matters about the Flash can be teased out and applied to NorthStar. The same might be done with a comparison of Apollo and Midnighter to Superman and Batman or Jon Kent and boyfriend Kay Nakamura to Jon’s parents but oh dear god not in some weird way that intimates incest. Yes, I’d love for McCallum to turn her attention these and other queer characters including Aquaman (aka Jackson Hyde) and boyfriend Ha’wea from underwater Xebel. That said, my appreciation of McCallum’s combination of wit, humor, and facts remains undiminished and I believe it will appeal to many readers who’ve daydreamed about superheroes and sex.
Now you may ask where McCallum’s Sex and can be purchased once it’s released on November 19th, 2024. No worries because I got you. Start with Penguin Random House’s list of retailers selling McCallum’s book.
Copies can be ordered through Bookshop. Bookshop can also help you find a local indy bookstore. Or give your bookstore this ISBN 1637745494 so they can order a copy for you.
If all else fails or you prefer, copies can be purchased from Amazon. This is a Gay League affiliate link from which Gay League will earn a small commission. Sex Lives of Superheroes. Please use this non affiliate link if you prefer.
Why not peruse Smart Pop’s site for other books while you’re at it?